The GOMO is so very real.
Well this is it. The last day of 2021.
How you doing?
My hope is that you are filled with joy, surrounded by comfort, and feeling unshakably rooted in tragic optimism *(Viktor Frankl).
And.... I hope that the GOMO you've likely been experiencing becomes compost for something beautiful.
GOMO - The Grief of Missing Out, is so very real.
We’re familiar with FOMO - the fear of missing out; that angsty, icky feeling that can often drive us to say yes when we want to say no, and most of us know the pleasure of JOMO - the joy of missing out; that pleasant, secure, spacious feeling of settling into the not going or doing.
But GOMO is a whole different beast that isn't addressed by shifting out of scarcity the way FOMO is and isn't about surrendering in the way JOMO invites us to - nope, GOMO, the very real grief of not getting to do the thing you want to do, or not getting to be with who you want to be with is something else.
Everyone experiences GOMO at some point and those with health issues, financial limitations, and caregiving responsibilities often stack up a mountain of GOMO…
But COVID times has really up-leveled the GOMO game for just about everyone - which is why even those who are still living life full-on - traveling, gathering, and saying all the yes’s are often hit with the GOMO blues.
We are all missing so many things, the heartache is palpable.
The winter holidays can be full of festivities and joyful events, it can also be a time loaded with difficult memories or held-in-the-body old feelings… And New Years Eve is often one of the biggest social out-breaths of the year.
But we are still/once again being asked (and some required) to give up even more of our connection points and gathering moments.
This is big stuff.
We're going on 2 years.
I don’t say this to be a bummer, and I don’t have a fast or fancy fix.
I’m talking to you about GOMO simply because naming truth is settling, organizing, and sanity making and amidst all of the chaos and confusion the world is offering us I know, we all could use a little(a lot) more of that.
So what can we do about GOMO, our own or our loved ones? Because I'll tell ya, even if you aren't feeling it someone in your world is struggling with the loneliness and isolation that COVID times is offering.
Like so many of life’s predicaments that don’t have clear answers, the biggest medicine we can bring is compassion.
Everyone is missing something or someone or someway.
No one is totally ok.
Everyone needs more support (what or who can you reach for?).
Fill yourself up with the richest kindness and let it flow out of you like a giant chocolate fountain you’d find at your dream NYE party, pass out the juicy strawberries and double-dip like we still believed germ sharing was a mostly good thing.
Laugh whenever possible.
Throw out any traditions you’ve absorbed, inherited, or even created that no longer fit or just make you too damn tired.
Ask for things.
Reclaim your space, your time, your energy.
Let yourself cry.
Take naps when you're not tired.
Let yourself hope.
Let yourself take up some damn space.
Say the things you want to say.
Learn to rest when you're awake (game changer!).
Learn to summon joy and practice receiving her fully when she arrives.
Be the human you want to be.
And remember this... You made it through 2020 AND 2021. You fucking rock.
GOMO hurts, your missings are real.
And... we are creative creatures that will continue to find our way, orient towards life, and push our roots down even deeper into the earth.
Whatever you do, however you decide to kiss 2021 goodbye and greet 2022, remember regardless of what the circumstances are right now - you are a powerful, creative, force of fucking Nature Herself and you are here on purpose.
If your heart is breaking, I'm so sorry - please reach for what could soothe or stabilize you, and if your heart is full, I'm so glad - please reach for someone who you might be able to soothe or stabilize.
This is no time to go it alone. Hyperindependce is so passe. We are so much stronger together.
May 2022 truly be a Happy + Meaningful New Year for us all.
Much love,
Danielle